a quick flashback

looking back at the past blogs i wrote, i re-read this one and it made me smile... it's awesome to look back at the things that i've written that reflected how i felt at the moment, and comparing it to how my life is now.. :)

(first written on Feb. 20, 2007) -- the date actually plays a big role in my inspiration to write this

LIFE IS AMAZING

this is just me being random at work.. cuz lately.. i've been nothing but be random...just been doing a lot of thinking....A LOTTTTT of thinking... reflecting on anything and everything...

sometimes you wanna live in the present and just enjoy things as it is, but then again, you can't forget about ur responsibilities...which can bring u down...but keeps u in check... i always say that i miss college and not have the obligations i have now, but then again... i've always been responsible for so many things, i don't even really remember being worry free.. maybe that's why i've always seen things in a different perspective and i always think of every other possible outcomes or the consequences that may come along.. so that goes back to always thinking ahead, which is gooood...but then i feel like it caused more stress in my life lol... it's fun to live in the present, pretend that there's nothing to worry about, but we're getting old...shoot i am =X and its inevitable to think about the future cuz its much closer now than it was before... its intimidating, but yet exciting at the same time.. haven't u ever wondered what ur future will be? or who it will be spent with? and yet another thing to look forward to!!

we learn many things in life as we go along, learning especially from our experiences.. knowing who u really are, what u really want in life, and knowing ur limits. Seeing who ur true friends are and who u can depend on.. the ones u can for sure call when u need a shoulder to cry on, or just to scream with cuz ur hysterically going insane...the ones u can share secrets or gossips with the ones that know u soooo damn well inside and out & will tell u straight up that ur being a brat and still be there for u to give neverending advices.. the one that drives u crazy cuz they depend on u and u can't say no, but yet u love them to death... and that special someone that always puts a smile on ur face ... these are the ppl that keeps u going regardless of all the shit that u have to worry about...

sooo live today like there's no tomorrow.. make sure that everyone who means a lot to know that they are special and loved... don't ever hold back, only u can hurt urself, and only u can also make urself reach that point of happiness that u strive for... cry if ur hurt, its ok to let it out.... but sometimes hurting is not what ur scared of.. it's falling in love.. why....because that's where it all starts from... u give someone ur all & not to expect anything in return, but love.. it's the most simplest complicated thing ever..talk about an oxymoron!! but having it as complicated as it is just makes it more worth it...

i guess im the typa person that will always put everyone else before me...try and make everyone happy, or at least to the best of that extent.. and i really don't mind... maybe i just gotta think of myself a lil bit more tho... i am happy, i REALLY am.. i've grown soo much and learned so much that it's easier for me to accept things and better yet, deal with it... i understand appreciate ppl a lot more, not that i never did, but even more so now... waking up every morning feeling blessed is a plus! I BELIEVE IN KARMA.. i also believe in FATE & DESTINY. I Know things will fall in place in the right time, according to HIS will... i believe that things happen for a reason...i've believed it since dad passed...

i always say..."When all else fails,,,, i'll still be here" and that has been taken in the WRONG context for a loooong time!! (hahaha... i really shouldn't be laughing cuz it's sad.. but it was...right girls?!!! )but i won't take it back, just now.. i'll be much smarter with choosing who i will give my heart to... fucking cheesy!! but shit... reality check... i am NOT dumb!

long lost and forgotten

i just get soo lazy to update my blog lol... facebook and twitter already take up so much of my time lol... 2 updates since 2009, both in March. Niece Marley Jae Buenavista Perez was born and i became a Bueno.. the end :)

inevitable

so i haven't done this in a while... and i thought i was gonna stop completely...but writing really does help release stress... a lil, and anything will help! since i have a bit of down time at work, why the heck not... here we go -

the things that i find inevitable to happen to me (at some point of my life); that's happened so far (and mind you, this all happened w/in a week); when it rains, it pours! =T... first i was stomped with the news that my little brother is going to be a dad.. YES my little brother. well i guess he's not "little" anymore, but he's my younger sib and i'll always see him as a kid to some extent. he's only 20 and i KNOW for a fact that he can't be responsible of someone else's life yet, esp since he can't even take care of himself! God help us! he thinks everything will be ok cuz he's THAT ignorant of the fact that there is a bigger picture to really consider in this situation. i am VERY upset and disappointed, but at this point, that's not gonna do me or anyone any good, esp my mom. Her health is my main concern right now, and my brother's behavior and attitude towards all this shit is NOT helping me feel happy, excited or supportive just yet.... i know its selfish, but with everything that's going on in the family, i dont just "think" but i KNOW that my feelings aren't selfish at all. Until my mom's really ok and feeling good (healthwise) then I can be ok about all this, and maybe i can finally be the excited Aunt to be!

fought with best friend and her bf... shit hit the fucking fan! BIG TIME. the only thing that i can say anymore about that is, i don't regret that it happened, i'm GLAD that it happened, and at the end, you really see what kind of friends you have, and who your true friends are. my favorite quote from all this "i'm done!"

i still haven't bought my ticket to Canada for my MUCH NEEDED vacation, and for that, it's adding to my frustrations and stress that it's making it completely worth it to just spend "that" much for that trip because i will explode if i don't get away even for just a bit.

speaking of Canada, Eugene is going back at the end of Aug. i'm soooo sad and i misssss him sooo much already even if he's still here. i can't be thankful enough that he was here since May 4th!!! it's been the best summer spending it with him, even if we haven't even really done lots of summer activities. of course this was the longest that we've been physically together, and it has helped us learn more about eachother,we've grown so much that it has done nothing but made us stronger. He's done so much to make me HAPPY that sometimes he doesn't even know he's doing it. cheesy i know, but i'm actually at my point in life and relationship that i can say that i've found someone who truly makes me happy. genuinely happy! i mean, yes i'll always be sad about the fact that we're so far from eachother, but that even adds into it! his being patient with our shitty long distance situation and continually loves to make it work, means so much to me... why does Canada have to be so far away? why does HE have to be so far away? :(

i'm so emo! i hate going thru this stupid spell once in a while! bleh!

Sometimes we just need to be reminded

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200,

he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.

"Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value.

It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.

We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.

The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know,

but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE.

You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

Count your blessings, not your problems. If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

renter's ignorance

so i just found out today that tenants LIKE MOI should be getting renter's insurance!! omg.. it so makes sense! but yea i got all cheapo-depo about it and i hesitated.. regardless, that's one new thing i learned today

going forward, i wanna start documenting all the new things i learn everyday -- for future amusement hah!

dumb!

what was i thinking giving up chocolate at this time of the year?!!!

Valentines and Anniversary..

Ya I was obviously not thinking!!

I wouldn't be surprised if I fail...

tsk tsk tsk..

I want my chocolates :(

good bye chocolates.... cya later?

ok ... so 40 days.. not THAT long compared to giving something up forever...but i believe that this can be a really good start to improve.. haha.. i have finally decided to give up the second love of my life - CHOCOLATES (and as much as possible random sweets and candies too)... before i would always think of something that will be hard for me to give up, anything besides chocolate!! it has been way overdue and its time!! lol...

i know that since the time span that this sacrifice falls within lent, therefore this should be related to religious reasons... and i dont question my faith in religion - i still believe strongly in God and even if i don't attend mass as much as i should, i know my faith is still well intact... however, i wanna see this opportunity as not just something religious but also for self-improvement purposes... if i, and i am well determined to, succeed in this challenge then my goal is to not eat as much chocolates/candies after lent... hoping that giving it up for a while will help me get used to not eating it and decrease (exponentially!! haha) my cravings for these lil devils...

now the cravings - that's a whole different story... i have the cravings of a pregnant woman! its horrible and unbearable at times... i can't sit still and concentrate on what i'm doing unless i get my fix! working on that and it will absolutely be extra challenging for this time...

so goodbye chocolates and of course be more consistent with exercising and working out...

this will be interesting...