(first written on Feb. 20, 2007) -- the date actually plays a big role in my inspiration to write this
LIFE IS AMAZING
this is just me being random at work.. cuz lately.. i've been nothing but be random...just been doing a lot of thinking....A LOTTTTT of thinking... reflecting on anything and everything...
sometimes you wanna live in the present and just enjoy things as it is, but then again, you can't forget about ur responsibilities...which can bring u down...but keeps u in check... i always say that i miss college and not have the obligations i have now, but then again... i've always been responsible for so many things, i don't even really remember being worry free.. maybe that's why i've always seen things in a different perspective and i always think of every other possible outcomes or the consequences that may come along.. so that goes back to always thinking ahead, which is gooood...but then i feel like it caused more stress in my life lol... it's fun to live in the present, pretend that there's nothing to worry about, but we're getting old...shoot i am =X and its inevitable to think about the future cuz its much closer now than it was before... its intimidating, but yet exciting at the same time.. haven't u ever wondered what ur future will be? or who it will be spent with? and yet another thing to look forward to!!
we learn many things in life as we go along, learning especially from our experiences.. knowing who u really are, what u really want in life, and knowing ur limits. Seeing who ur true friends are and who u can depend on.. the ones u can for sure call when u need a shoulder to cry on, or just to scream with cuz ur hysterically going insane...the ones u can share secrets or gossips with the ones that know u soooo damn well inside and out & will tell u straight up that ur being a brat and still be there for u to give neverending advices.. the one that drives u crazy cuz they depend on u and u can't say no, but yet u love them to death... and that special someone that always puts a smile on ur face ... these are the ppl that keeps u going regardless of all the shit that u have to worry about...
sooo live today like there's no tomorrow.. make sure that everyone who means a lot to know that they are special and loved... don't ever hold back, only u can hurt urself, and only u can also make urself reach that point of happiness that u strive for... cry if ur hurt, its ok to let it out.... but sometimes hurting is not what ur scared of.. it's falling in love.. why....because that's where it all starts from... u give someone ur all & not to expect anything in return, but love.. it's the most simplest complicated thing ever..talk about an oxymoron!! but having it as complicated as it is just makes it more worth it...
i guess im the typa person that will always put everyone else before me...try and make everyone happy, or at least to the best of that extent.. and i really don't mind... maybe i just gotta think of myself a lil bit more tho... i am happy, i REALLY am.. i've grown soo much and learned so much that it's easier for me to accept things and better yet, deal with it... i understand appreciate ppl a lot more, not that i never did, but even more so now... waking up every morning feeling blessed is a plus! I BELIEVE IN KARMA.. i also believe in FATE & DESTINY. I Know things will fall in place in the right time, according to HIS will... i believe that things happen for a reason...i've believed it since dad passed...
i always say..."When all else fails,,,, i'll still be here" and that has been taken in the WRONG context for a loooong time!! (hahaha... i really shouldn't be laughing cuz it's sad.. but it was...right girls?!!! )but i won't take it back, just now.. i'll be much smarter with choosing who i will give my heart to... fucking cheesy!! but shit... reality check... i am NOT dumb!